2 Stars Hotels in River, Kentucky from CA $102

"Lady at check in was very friendly, asked if I smoked and said yes but don’t want a smoking room. Walked in and was nasally accosted by the stench of disappointment, Virginia Slims, and old feet. Realizing it was a smoking room, I immediately considered having a slumber party in my car rather than having to sleep in there. The personal decorative touch of cigarette burns decorating the blankets weren’t exactly my vibe so I attempted to find sleep on the top sheet with a jacket, dressed the pillows in my finest clean t-shirts, and wore a designated pair of floor socks to use the bathroom once. Luckily for my peace of mind, I travel with an extendable police baton which became the overnight watchman mascot that took the night shift in case the less than stellar door lock failed. Woke up early on purpose, considered for zero seconds taking a shower or checking out what surprises I can imagine awaited me at breakfast, and hit the road as soon as I could. I had driven 9 hrs through the mountains & it was non-refundable, so I pretended I was blind at the Bellagio & got a few hours of sleep before 8 more hours of mountain driving. Comes highly not recommended, like, ever. "